


Dreamscaping

by blingyeol



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Bittersweet, Lucid Dreaming, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-09 15:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4354508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blingyeol/pseuds/blingyeol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Jonghyun's life is haunted by endless frustration thanks to the restrictive and oppressive society that does not leave much room for creativy and freedom. There's a place that can't be reached by any government or the prison-like mental health care centres, though. The dreamscape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreamscaping

**Author's Note:**

> written for SHINee Big Bang 2015 ~

  
“It was my father who told me that dreams want to be real. When you start to wake up, he said, they hang on and try to slip out into the waking world when you don’t notice. Very strong dreams, he added, can almost do it; they can last for almost half a day, but not much longer.  
I asked him if any ever made it. If any of the people our subconscious minds toss up and make real while we’re sleeping had ever actually stolen out into this world from the dream world.  
He knew of at least one that had, he said.”  
  


\- Charles de Lint (Dreams Underfoot)

 

 

The boy’s mother came bearing good news that day, to one person at least. The kids in the boy’s class seemed rather disappointed they won’t get to see young Jeongsu anymore, as he was a mood-maker and generally loved by everyone but to Kim Jonghyun he was a source of constant frustration. The kid couldn’t play the piano well enough _even_ when following the instructions, let alone initiating any creative thinking and playing with passion.  
  
The problem was, majority of his students were pretty much the same. The only difference between Jeongsu and the others was that some of the students were better at following instructions. You told them to play the tune in D minor, they played it in D minor. That much Jonghyun could bear, after all he learnt by following someone else, too. But the kids lacked any sparks of passion to add to the music. Ask them to play something they like, and they’ll flip on an application on their pads that showed compositions most played or those best rated and go from there. They went to the classes because they were told to, much like anything else they did in their scripted lives.  
  
Some time ago Jonghyun met one boy that really had it in him though. He was one of his first students and older than most - a boy attending senior high school whereas majority of the others belonged to elementary school or junior high. He came once a week in the evening for private lessons and those soon became Jonghyun’s favourite ones ever. Right now, he’d be willing to sell his soul to the devil to teach a class full of Lee Taemins instead of this bunch of sheep. It’s been years since he saw the boy and no one since came even close to Taemin’s passion for music.  
  
  
That very evening, Jonghyun ordered a set of spicy chicken and fries to accompany him and his best friend on their so-called creativity exercises. Kibum came up with the name, and Jonghyun found that a bit lacking but still very apt. (There were so many better creative things to do but hardly any free time for them.)  
  
And so, whenever they felt a need for a get-away they went to the World Cup Park, sat on a bench facing the lake and discussed things. The reason why these were creativity exercises was their observing people and making up stories to go with each of them. The tradition started quite recently and although the meetings were mostly as boring as they sounded, they were something the two of them needed desperately. A moment of pretty much doing nothing, while making fun of the people around.  
  
Kim Kibum had been Jonghyun’s best friend since high school, and a lover at one point or another, which might be a hindrance to some friendships but not theirs. They both shared the same passion for something - Jonghyun for his music and Kibum for fashion. And together with that they both liked to complain about the general lack of creativity and freedom around them. _Era of smart technology and stupid people_ , as Jonghyun often remarked.  
  
Kibum looked at the boxes Jonghyun accepted from a delivery boy and asked: “What’s the occasion?”  
  
“Choi Jeongsu - that talentless student of mine - has been taken away,” the music teacher announced festively.  
  
“The baboon?”  
  
Kibum only saw the boy once when he came to pick Jonghyun up from work. Ever since that he never called the kid by his real name, insisting that he’s a baboon in human clothes.  
  
“Yep. Gone to other baboons to be their company.”  
  
There wasn’t much to joke about but sometimes Jonghyun believed that to be the only way to make do with what the whole world had become.  
  
“What was his diagnose?” Kibum further inquired.  
  
But Jonghyun didn’t feel like discussing anything that might make him feel sorry for a student he’s glad to say goodbye to. “Dunno. His mother said ‘it’s only level 2 so he’ll recover in time’,” he quoted with more than just a hint of sarcasm.  
  
There was no such thing as _only level 2_ or _recovering in the centres_. You got in, you didn’t get out. It was as simple as that and you’d think the mental health care centres were around for a time long enough for everyone to realize this, but strangely a lot of people still believed it to be a good thing. Jonghyun had always been convinced the centres are a modern type of prison for anyone inconvenient to the society. He guessed media could be blamed for associating mental illnesses with violence and crime but despite that theory being generally wrong, whole world was suddenly revolving around it.  
  
Now, it would be a mistake to dismiss the whole health care centres idea as a bad one. Mental disorders became the cancer of 22nd century. Where treatment of physical illnesses evolved, the mental health care lagged behind. Thanks to the stressful life, percentage of mental patients multiplied, too. Soon there were actions necessary to be taken, so building more mental health care centres was a logical step but the way the care was executed was, more often than not, plain wrong.  
  
Sensing Jonghyun’s reluctance to go any further on this topic Kibum pointed at a short, rather plump boy sitting on a bench next to them. “That one there.”  
  
Gladly, Jonghyun picked up the topic change and turned his head left to see Kibum’s person of interest clearly. “Mhm, a drug dealer.”  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“Sure,” Jonghyun stood fast. “Not a junkie though, just making the living.”  
  
“Nah, that one looks like he doesn’t have the guts for that,” Kibum disagreed. “I say he aspires to be a businessman, like his father and grandfather and great-grandfather and great-great-”  
  
“Yeah, might be more fitting,” Jonghyun decided bitterly, all the while the short kid sat there with his pad in hands, not sparing even one glance at his surroundings.  
  
They ate the chicken, commented on a few more of the park residents and eventually got up when the wind picked up and the spring evening turned into a chilly one.  
  
“Let’s go sit somewhere instead,” Kibum suggested. “I’m sure we can be pretty creative when drunk, too.”  
  
  
Jonghyun stands in the middle of a small corn field. He’s not quite sure how he got there, or if he really _is_ there since last thing he remembers is falling quickly asleep in his bed after drinking a considerable amount of _soju_ bottles. It’s serenely quiet, except for the birds chirping somewhere in the nearby forest and the air smells of freshly mowed grass and early blooming cherry trees. It’s a sight so bizarre he spends minutes just taking it all in.  
  
Then he makes a few cautious steps, and they feel effortless, as if he were light as a feather. Before he can break into a run through the rows, the air becomes heavy with rain and a downpour suddenly falls all over the fields, forest, and of course him. Jonghyun curses, thinking _I can’t come this drenched to work_. Then he sees a figure standing right in front of him, a huge umbrella the size of two regular ones in their hand.  
  
“Hey there!” the figure shouts and beckons for him to come over under his protection.  
  
“Thanks,” Jonghyun mutters as he stands next to the figure - now he can see it’s a young man - and shifts his weight so that he’s not standing in a puddle.  
  
The man is taller than him, just slightly, but still giving him an unpleasant feeling of towering over him, umbrella and all. He doesn’t look exactly menacing but there’s this charismatic aura around him and Jonghyun wonders if it’s the owner of the field and he’s guilty of trespassing.  
  
“Does it rain often in here?” Jonghyun asks the man cautiously.  
  
The man shrugs and mysteriously answers: “Depends on where is _here_.”  
  
At that moment Jonghyun realizes he doesn’t know either. The place isn’t anything like any place he’s ever been to and he’s only ever saw something similar in movies. There can’t possibly be a place as solemn as this one on Earth, not with the urban areas covering pretty much all of it. It must be a dream, Jonghyun concludes and that realization gives him an oddly pleasant feeling.  
  
“You’re late for work,” the man suddenly raises his voice, as if the rain was particularly loud.  
  
“I know, but I can’t go drenched like this.”  
  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
Jonghyun woke up to Kibum pulling his blanket off of him and giving him a puzzled look.  
  
“What? I’m not talking about anything,” Jonghyun denied, senses hazed as he was yet far from being fully awake. “I just want to fucking sleep in sometimes.”  
  
Kibum succeeded, throwing the blanket carelessly on the ground and leaving Jonghyun half-naked and shivering from cold on the bed. “You said something about being drenched.”  
  
“Did I?” Jonghyun scrambled out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. And as he brushed his teeth, there was an image invading his mind. A corn field in rain, with two figures standing under one umbrella in the middle of it.  
  
“I had the strangest dream,” he told Kibum as they sat in the kitchen.  
  
When Kibum asked him why he thought it was so strange, he fumbled for the right answer. First of all, dreams were usually odd and not making much sense. This one was pretty clear, without any monsters or nonsensical situations. Then there was also the fact that the brain usually produces sceneries and people that it has already seen somewhere. And Jonghyun could swear he never saw a corn field, not even in movies as far as he remembered.  
  
“I don’t know,” he said eventually, scoping the last mouthful of his toast. “It was just strange.”  
  
“Whatever. Now you’re late for even being late, so clear off,” Kibum told him off, taking his mug away, even though it was far from being empty.  
  
Having Kibum in his flat used to be a benefit as it was always cleaned and suddenly easier to find things in. But lately Jonghyun was fed up with the constant nagging, especially the morning ones. But he knew Kibum’s store wasn’t doing good and the boy couldn’t afford to rent a flat anywhere this conveniently in the centre of the city. And they were friends, after all.  
  
Jonghyun made circles in the tiny hallway, picking up his bag and putting shoes on and finally set out. Into another boring day, in which he’ll have to suppress the urge to murder some of his students.  
  
  
The next time he appears in the dream, it’s bright and sunny, warm breeze ruffling Jonghyun’s hair. He recognizes the field, and the forests beyond, but now he notices a meadow on the opposite side. The sun is making it glitter, as if it was in fact a grass sea and he hesitates to step on it. But it’s all stable and holds him as he struts towards a hillock.  
  
“I hoped you’d be back with better weather,” a familiar voice says and Jonghyun recognizes the umbrella man, only he has no umbrella now - no need to have it, anyway. He’s sitting up on a rock, right where the hillock starts to slope down.  
  
“Is this a dream?” Jonghyun asks, himself more than the man but he gets an answer either way.  
  
“Just as much as you aren’t real.”  
  
That doesn’t seem to make much sense but he decides not to inquire any further. He’s quite sure now, that this is a dream. But even so, he realizes, he can simply decide to walk up to the man and sit down next to him, just like he would in real world. Also everything around him feels strangely more vivid and detailed than dreams usually do.  
  
“What’s your name?” Jonghyun asks but immediately thinks _what a stupid thing to ask_. This is a dream and the man has to be part of his subconsciousness, so he ought to know the name. But he can’t seem to remember.  
  
“Lee Jinki,” the man introduces himself, “what’s yours?”  
  
“Kim Jonghyun.”  
  
He can’t help but have a strange feeling about all this. It’s positively a dream because not only there isn’t any place as this in the real world - at least not anywhere near he lives - but he also doesn’t remember getting here. But at the same time it feels much like reality.  
  
“What brings you here?”  
  
Jonghyun swings himself up on the rock and sits next to Jinki, giving the question a thought. To figure out what brings him here, he’d first have to be sure what is this place exactly, so he asks instead: “If this isn’t a dream then what is it?”  
  
“I never said it wasn’t a dream,” Jinki opposes. “Just not that type you’re used to. You’re real and so am I, much like anyone else here - or, well, majority of them.”  
  
Jonghyun considers that, realizing the place might be a sort of haven for anyone who comes here while asleep, and Jinki might be a guiding angel. When he voices out his thoughts, it has Jinki laughing out loud, the laugh resounding loudly over the meadow.  
  
“I’ve been called many things, but this is the first time someone made me an angel,” he says, still smiling brightly. It makes his face light up, mouth stretched nearly from one ear to another, eyes becoming half-moons.  
  
The first time Jonghyun met him, there was an almost menacing charismatic aura but today he is more of a friendly good-hearted guy. The charisma is still there though, Jonghyun thinks as he studies Jinki’s profile, especially his sharp nose and full lips. It makes Jinki look strangely handsome, in a way that’s hard to describe. There’s some underlying coldness in him, too, but that isn’t easily spotted through the contagious smile.  
  
“So what are you?”  
  
“Where I come from, I am a project manager. That kind of a boring office man in a suit, holding a briefcase,” says Jinki quite sorrowfully. “Here I am but a humble shepherd.”  
  
It’s hard to imagine Jinki in a suit. Here among the nature he’s wearing a simple white t-shirt with a v-shaped collar and dark blue, baggy trousers. As he confides to being a shepherd, Jonghyun can see a herd of sheep just below the hillock, peacefully feeding on grass. He can’t seem to recall if they were there all this time and maybe that’s how dreams really work - there’s anything you’d think of present already but you don’t see it unless you really _do_ think about it.  
  
“What it all comes down to is,” Jinki continues saying, “why you come here and what you want this place to be. I have a very busy, hectic and stressful kind of life, so I guess what I needed most was peace. So, what brings you here?”  
  
This time, Jonghyun has no trouble finding the right answer. “Lack of creativity in the world around me.”  
  
  
Jonghyun woke up abruptly in the middle of the night and the first thing he realized was that he couldn’t move. It’s sort of like when you freeze to the spot during a shocking event. It was pitch-dark in the room and he wasn’t even sure if it really was his room. His heart beating fast, Jonghyun had trouble calming down and telling himself to relax.  
  
Somewhere in a distance he heard footsteps and they seemed to be coming closer, until the door to the room sprang open and there was a stranger standing there. The figure had a knife in their hands.  
  
He must have shouted, because suddenly Kibum was on him, shaking his shoulders and telling him to wake up. Jonghyun wanted to yell at him to turn around, that there’s a stranger with a knife in the doorway. But then he opened his eyes into a fully lit room with no one else but him and Kibum inside.  
  
His roommate looked straight worried, still sitting astride above him and pinning him down. “Dude, you were tossing around like crazy,” he explained.  
  
Jonghyun pushed him aside, still baffled by his nightmare or whatever it was. “Thanks, I guess.”  
  
Minutes later they settled down on a sofa, both a mug of hot cocoa in their hands. There was an overtone of worry in Kibum’s voice as he said: “If you have troubles, you better tell me.”  
  
He didn’t need to say it, but Jonghyun knew the rest of his thoughts: _Either you tell me or someone else will notice and you’ll be in trouble_. Having problems that might resemble symptoms of a mental disorder was like committing a crime these days. You did get taken away for that, after all.  
  
“I’m okay,” Jonghyun said in an attempt to convince himself just as much as Kibum. “It was just a nightmare. No need to worry.”  
  
Kibum eyed him for what seemed like an eternity, until dismissing him with: “Fine. But you take care, okay? We don’t need to be under medicaments both of us. Or worse.”  
  
It was around half a year ago that Kibum came home, slouching heap of misery and they sat just like this, him explaining and Jonghyun being the worried one. His psychology test said he had a mild generalized anxiety disorder - a level 1 of B cluster disorders, which meant that all he had to do was take medicaments and go for check-ups twice as often as any other citizen. So, twice a month Kibum would go see a doc and every time there would be a stifling atmosphere of expectations hanging around. Thankfully, the results were always the same so far.  
  
“I’m okay,” Jonghyun stressed again.  
  
  
The next few nights were dreamless. The first time it felt almost good, as if he were able to get a rest after the nightmare false awakening - he asked his pad and that’s what it possibly was, what with him being in his room but paralyzed and seeing stuff that wasn’t there. Then he started to worry he won’t be able to ever come back to the dreamscape and that had thrown him into an almost depressed kind of state.  
  
Two weeks from that, they sat in the park with Kibum and he couldn’t concentrate on any of the people around. Kibum pointed out an old lady that was feeding the fish in a pond, constructing a scenario of her being mentally ill and on a run from the centres, but Jonghyun interrupted him.  
  
“Do you know anyone named Lee Jinki?”  
  
“No, do you?”  
  
“I wouldn’t be asking if I did.”  
  
“Well, you do know his name.”  
  
Jonghyun hesitated. There was an urge inside, itching and begging him to just tell Kibum everything. But he wasn’t even sure how to explain. How to say why exactly was he uneasy about not being able to visit a dream. He did his best, but at the end Kibum looked at him in that motherly stare, ready to give him a teaching and Jonghyun wanted to back off.  
  
“So, you’ve been lucid dreaming.”  
  
Jonghyun had never heard of that term, and he didn’t like when they encountered a topic he didn’t know about while Kibum did - which was a rather rare occasion - because then Kibum would revel in the spotlight and play the know-it-all.  
  
“Didn’t you hear about it?” Kibum asked, even though Jonghyun’s answer to that was quite obvious. “It was all the hype back when I was at university. Everyone tried to lucid dream, to be able to control their dreams and have a little get-away of their own. But of course no one could talk about it in the open.”  
  
“But of course you knew,” Jonghyun grimaced.  
  
“Of course,” Kibum sang.  
  
Playing safe, Jonghyun didn’t inquire any further. He’d like to believe his little secret about how his newly discovered ability to lucid dream was utterly important to him stayed unknown to Kibum. A huge part of him wanted to tell his best friend everything but then he imagined the possible teasings and didn’t.  
  
Instead, he spent a few hours of his free time researching, which at first seemed like a mission impossible - majority of the material wasn’t anywhere to be found - but in the end his efforts bore fruit. Apparently, there was a device invented to induce lucid dreams - or rather remind you that you are dreaming while you are doing so.  
  
It wasn’t easy to acquire, companies stopped producing the devices decades ago, somewhere around the time the restriction reforms took place. Of course they couldn’t order people to go and throw away the ones they bought, and that’s how Jonghyun found one. To his displeasure, he had to go with Kibum’s help again, because the boy knew literally everyone, including this one classmate of his who used to be into lucid dreaming a lot.  
  
And so, the first night he secured the device on his wrist and dove deep into the land of dreams Jonghyun -  
  
  
\- stands on a mud road among small houses. It’s a picturesque village with thatch roofs and distinct smell of straw and meat being roasted somewhere close. Jonghyun has a guitar on a sling and he notices his clothes have changed, too. Last time he came he was wearing garments similar to the shepherd’s, except they were brown and black. Now he has a much more colourful outfit resembling those of medieval gypsies, as far as he can compare.  
  
“Can you play a song?”  
  
Jonghyun turns around and sees a lean, tall boy with ruffled black hair. He’s dressed - Jonghyun would like to say under-dressed - in green breeches and nothing at all on top. He’s barefoot, too, and gives off a feeling of a forest dryad. There are leaves in his hair and mud all over his bare skin. Jonghyun feels as if he knows him from somewhere, but dismisses it with a _subconscious mind’s doing, definitely_.  
  
“Sure,” Jonghyun concedes and grabs the guitar, feeling its weight. It suits him well, just big enough to grab and not too heavy. He strumms to try its sound, then starts a simple melody and accompanies it with singing with his soft voice.  
  
Soon enough, whole village starts gathering around him. Jinki comes walking down the hillock, smiling at him and all around there are men and women of all ages. All of them look sincerely delighted to hear him play, and he wonders if they are all people who come here to relieve stress and to have a place of their own.  
  
When he finishes, they all applaude and Jinki pats him on the shoulder. “You play well.”  
  
They slowly part with the crowd, walk through the narrow streets and not long afterwards reach the meadows. From up the hill he can see the village holds only about thirty houses. It’s peaceful up here, but Jonghyun feels he prefers the crowd listening to his music.  
  
“You were stuck, weren’t you?” Jinki makes a guess as they sit down on their rock, watching over the sheep feeding on grass nearby.  
  
“Yeah, couldn’t get back here.”  
  
“It happens if you don’t have good control. But you got it back, that’s good.”  
  
Jonghyun nods, remembering how awful it felt not being able to come here. Whatever this place really was, for him it meant a safe haven. But he still can’t stop wondering if it’s all created by his mind or someone else’s. He thinks of all the people, tries to search his mind who each of them were but there doesn’t seem to be any information available. Then he sees the tall, messy kid climbing up to where they’re stationed and it finally hits him.  
  
“So, are you real or are you just my mind’s creation?” he asks Jinki out of the blue.  
  
Jinki sighs while gazing in the same direction towards the kid getting closer to them. “Are we back to square one again?”  
  
“Because that one there,” Jonghyun nods at the kid, “is someone I used to know. I used to teach him music. And if that’s not my mind bringing up people I personally know, then I don’t know what it is.”  
  
Lee Taemin reaches their rock and stands there awkwardly, not sure what to say. In the end, he points at Jonghyun and says: “I know you.”  
  
“See?” Jonghyun turns to Jinki. “My mind’s producing stored knowledge.”  
  
Jinki’s frowning, slightly displeased with Jonghyun simply not getting it at all. “What am I then?”  
  
“I don’t know, someone I met on the subway and my brain stored your face in my subconsciousness.”  
  
In that moment Jonghyun can sense that menacing coldness again and he’s sure Jinki will lose his patience and storm off but instead Taemin bursts out laughing and says: “He really doesn’t get it, does he?”  
  
That has Jinki sniggering and Jonghyun feeling utterly left out and stupid.  
  
“This world is a dream,” Taemin explains in that cheerful, friendly way that Jonghyun remembers from past days when they knew each other, “but the people are real. We all dream about this place because there’s something we want from here, so it’s like a meeting point for everyone desperate.”  
  
Even with another person repeating Jinki’s words, Jonghyun still isn’t any closer to actually believing that, but he decides to wave a white flag because he doesn’t want them arguing. “Okay, I get it. You’re real.”  
  
“I miss going to your classes,” Taemin tells him and suddenly he looks sad, small even.  
  
“Why did you never come back, anyway?” Jonghyun asks, his mind going back to the day he got a call from the boy. Back then Taemin didn’t explain into much depth, just mumbled something about being in a financial crisis and that he’ll surely start attending again some day.  
  
Taemin is still frowning, deep in thoughts. He shrugs and looks as if he’s about to say something, but then he’s suddenly smiling again, announcing he has to go now and merrily runs off.  
  
“He’s an odd one,” Jinki notes as the kid disappears in between the trees. “Running around the woods all the time.”  
  
Though he isn’t any closer to fully grasping this place, Jonghyun does understands this little thing. “Freedom,” he says. “That’s what he came in search for.”  
  
They don’t talk for a while, both deep in their thoughts. Jonghyun lets all the facts sink in his mind. He comes for creativity, to play and sing and have everyone else appreciate the music and be creative with him. Jinki seeks peace and Taemin desires freedom, running wherever he wants, something that isn’t easy to achieve in a society so tightly woven by rules.  
  
Him saying earlier he does get it must have not been very convincing as Jinki teases him some more and Jonghyun tries to defend himself.  
  
“I don’t know what I believe,” he admits in the end. He knows there’s reality and then there are dreams. Trying to believe there are real dreams is still hard for him. There’s a way to completely testify if the people here exist out there but Jonghyun knows he’s not ready to ask for a meeting outside the dream just yet. It could break his hopes just as much as fulfill them.  
  
“Well,” Jinki comes up with an idea, “if I’m in your mind, you can make me do anything you want, right?”  
  
Reluctantly, Jonghyun agrees and tries to take some control over Jinki, but doesn’t succeed. All this time he’s persistently staring into the shepherd’s eyes and the man’s not budging, he just sits there and his smile gets wider and wider.  
  
“I give up,” Jonghyun concludes. “You’re probably truly real.”  
  
He’s feeling slightly bitter, too. If this was all his mind’s work he could’ve at least had some fun with Jinki but like this he’s sentenced to sit here and discuss real and unreal things. Lucid dreams with sexual content were the best, he’s heard (if Kibum wasn’t saying that just to encourage him to try it and have fun on his behalf).  
  
As if reading his mind - which might as well be possible here, Jonghyun thinks - Jinki gets uncomfortably closer to him and whispers: “But if you wanna do stuff, I’m all willing even if you don’t control my mind.”  
  
Jonghyun is about to ask if _do stuff_ means what he’s sure it means but before he can do that, Jinki’s lips are on his and there’s no room to think about anything else anymore. Even with the chilly breeze he suddenly feels a rash of hotness. Jonghyun eases into the kiss, wandering hands all over Jinki’s nape and back and it all feels so good.  
  
When they part, for a split of a second Jonghyun thinks it a rather unnatural and fast progression of their relationship - there weren’t even any hints - but then Jinki’s leaving a hickey on his collarbone and Jonghyun feels a hand wander below his shirt and down into his pants.  
  
  
Kibum was laughing at him. Jonghyun frowned, opened his eyes and glanced at him in the most repulsive morning look he could’ve summoned but Kibum was still swaying with laughter.  
  
“You should’ve heard yourself,” Kibum managed to say between the laughs. “Or maybe you did, in the dream.”  
  
Suddenly Jonghyun got self-conscious and realized which part of his dream he woke up from. There’s no wetness in his boxers - thanks god - but he did still feel the tension. He was sure there’s not many situations in which he’d feel embarrassed in front of Kibum but it looked like he found one.  
  
“So, who was it?” Kibum called after him mockingly, but Jonghyun had already slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaving his roommate to continue with his amusement alone. _That much for Kibum’s valuable advice about lucid dreaming_ , Jonghyun spat while angrily turning on water taps in the shower stall.  
  
  
The moment Jonghyun wakes into the dreamscape the next night, he feels at ease and eagerly nervous at the same time. Whole day at school was a pain in the ass - as usually - but what made it even worse was his mind wandering to whatever happened between him and Jinki yesterday every now and then.  
  
He liked it. That much Jonghyun knows. And he certainly wants to continue, which explained the eager nervousness. It’s been a long time since he’s been in a relationship and all this makes him as giddy as if he were a fresh eighteen.  
  
But his eagerness dies down a little when he realizes Jinki isn’t anywhere around. The meadow is disturbingly empty, no shepherd or his sheep anywhere around. The village below is covered in thick layers of mist, that mostly keep down there and don’t climb up to where he’s standing. Jonghyun sighs and restlessly paces around.  
  
He’s quite ready to give up and let his mind decide what to do next, maybe wake up or continue into a different dream, when he sees Jinki at the far end of the village, slowly emerging from the mist.  
  
“Hey!” Jonghyun shouts at him and he thinks maybe he shouldn’t look so openly eager because it feels as if he’s literally shouting _Hey, come up here and fuck me already_.  
  
Jinki seems to be on the same wave, as his grin is not exactly innocent and the first thing he does when he reaches Jonghyun, is saying: “You left too early yesterday.”  
  
“I know,” Jonghyun agrees before he can stop himself. He feels the blood rush to his cheeks and internally screams at himself for acting like such a shy little girl.  
  
There’s a moment of silence in which a few things change. First of all, the sheep are suddenly all around them and the fog surrounds them, too. And then Jinki drags him down onto the grass, starting where they left off yesterday. They kiss on the lips, then Jinki plants kisses on Jonghyun’s neck and earlobe.  
  
It’s not cold, just a little chilly because the sun is hidden, but Jonghyun shivers when all of his clothes are dropped. Jinki takes a moment to appreciate the boy’s slender, but rather muscular body and Jonghyun feels the embarrassment colour his cheeks again. _For fucks sake_ , he thinks and reaches for another kiss to hide it.  
  
He finds it curious how the two of them spend hours talking in their dreamscape but while making love neither of them says a word, except for that one time Jonghyun screams Jinki’s name at the top of his pleasure. Speaking feels as if it would break the little dream inside a dream they’re having.  
  
  
Jonghyun didn’t really intend to tell Kibum about any of his sexual experiences in the dreams since he’s had enough of embarrassment last time when his best friend joked about it throughout the whole breakfast. It was annoying to the point that Jonghyun left without finishing his coffee, which was debatably the biggest concession he’s ever made this early in the morning. But somehow Kibum pried everything out of him. Jonghyun blamed it on the alcohol.  
  
It was the day of check-ups and as every such day in a month, they got drunk. Whether the results were good or not, the tests were frustrating nevertheless and they needed to let off steam somehow. No one would like to spend an hour choosing answers in a test and then doing all sorts of ridiculous things Kibum liked to call animal experiments.  
  
This time Jonghyun’s test results were disturbing. He’d like it if he could say it never even crossed his mind he could end up being diagnosed with a mental disorder but come on, everyone was most likely mentally ill nowadays and he did expect it a bit. But the results were still disturbing. It wasn’t as much the fact he “failed” his tests, as people called it, as the diagnose itself.  
  
“Schizophrenia?” Kibum marveled when they both reached their flat after finishing the tests each at a different clinic. “How does that even make sense?”  
  
“Beats me,” Jonghyun said, still clutching the paper in his hands, together with a little electronic device that he was supposed to answer every time it beeped. He was “sentenced” to what they called constant home surveillance but Jonghyun would rename it to inconsiderate invading of private space. As if cameras on the streets watching your every step weren’t enough. Or nosy people that had nothing better to do than tell on you when you were behaving _abnormally_.  
  
In the form it gained over past decades, schizophrenia was thought to be the most severe and complicated among the mental disorders. There was a thin line between the surveillance and health care centres were you diagnosed with it, and Jonghyun felt the panic rising up inside him the moment he found out. His first instinct was to get angry at the doctors, thoroughly explaining how there had to be a mistake in his tests and that he’s perfectly fine. But he lacked the temper and strength to fight he had before he started his frustrating work, and so he lost the argument after few minutes, settling on the doctor’s assurance that “The disorder is in its beginnings, we can keep it like that with medicaments.”  
  
“How about you?” Jonghyun asked, hoping to hear some good news, maybe something miraculous like “I’m all good now, no need to even take pills”.  
  
Instead, Kibum pulled out a device identical to Jonghyun’s. “I guess we’re on par now.”  
  
_Comfort in misery_ , Jonghyun thought. At least he wasn’t the only one who’ll have to survive the annoyance of being constantly checked on by the doctors and fearing getting taken into a centre one day. But then he realized just how much worse his situation was, and the possible reason behind the whole prognosis.  
  
A thought crossed his mind - a rather disturbing one - that perhaps he’s starting to be too attached to the dreamscape. He felt distracted more often than not, finding himself wishing it was evening already - and not just because he wanted the classes to be over and rest peacefully. But surely distracted thinking wasn’t a reason enough for condemning him as schizophrenic, or was it?  
  
Jonghyun didn’t know. Sometimes nothing in this world seemed to make any sense to him.  
  
  
It took a while to get to the familiar places of their dreamscape that night. When Jonghyun awakes into the dream there’s the forest all around him and in the distance he sees the meadow. He sets off, but with every step the familiar landscape ahead moves further away, until he nearly doesn’t see it anymore. _Odd_ , he thinks and turns around to walk the opposite way - maybe the space has been reverted and he’ll reach it that way.  
  
In that moment he notices a top of silver-tinted blonde hair sticking from a nearby bush. Jonghyun blinks and hesitantly moves closer, considering just grabbing the hair and pulling whoever was hiding there out, but opts for a careful: “Hello?” instead.  
  
The bush rustles as the figure moves up, revealing its face. The hair colour doesn’t match with the one in the real world, but it’s his best friend all right.  
  
“Kibum?” is all Jonghyun is able to say to that, more so when Kibum stands up fully and it turns out he all he’s wearing is his milky white skin. “You forgot your clothes.”  
  
Kibum looks down, shrieks and before Jonghyun can assure him that he can conjure him some garb before they go to the village, his best friend is on a run, deeper into the forest until there’s no trace of him left. _Odd_ , Jonghyun thinks again and stays a little longer, wondering whether it was really _the_ Kibum or just his subconsciousness.  
  
Moments later he chances on Taemin, the wood dryad in his natural habitat.  
  
“How do I get to the meadow?” he asks him right away, watching the boy point ahead. “Yeah, I tried that but it keeps moving further away.”  
  
Taemin purses his lips in thought. “Maybe you don’t want to get there.”  
  
Jonghyun frowns at him and at the whole situation. Then he breathes out, tries to turn around while imagining his destination and finally, he’s on the meadow. This new ability gives him a lot of ideas but right now, he still can’t get the worries out of his head, and maybe that’s what summons the rain in the first place.  
  
He runs to a shed that’s standing a few meters ahead, right in between the meadow and the first houses of the village.  
  
Jinki’s already inside, with all his sheep crammed around him and leaving just little space for him and Jonghyun who weaves his way through them. He starts right off with a series of questions directed at Jinki, desperation visible in his voice.“How do you deal with everything in the real world? Do you sometimes wish real world didn’t exist? Or that we didn’t, when it comes to it?”  
  
He hoped to find a guidance, a helpful hand in the shepherd boy, who always gave off a feeling he knows absolutely everything, but Jinki brushes him off. “Focus on here and now. That’s what we came for anyway.”  
  
There’s a heavy downpour similar to the one Jonghyun saw on his first night here, with dark clouds hanging above the thatch roofs. It makes the dreamscape look somewhat less the haven it ought to be.  
  
“I didn’t come to wait for the rain to stop while being jammed among sheep and,” Jonghyun lifts his foot and wrinkles his nose, “stepping onto shit.”  
  
“Which is why,” Jinki says and decides to retreat from Jonghyun's vicinity, “you ought to stop summoning the rain. Think sunshine, please.”  
  
Was it his uneasiness about things in the real world that had this effect on the dreamscape’s weather? The fear, the annoyance of constant surveillance and even less freedom? Jonghyun tries to focus on the happy things - Kibum’s store doing better lately, the prospect of him moving out eventually, and least but not last the dreamscape. And also Jinki.  
  
“I’m gonna travel,” he announces after a while, all while doing his best to imagine the sky clearing up. Eventually it does and Jonghyun smiles contentedly. “Wanna tag along?”  
  
To his disappointment, Jinki shakes his head. “That’s you, not me. Me is being here with the sheep, sleeping and generally doing nothing.”  
  
“Sounds boring.”  
  
“It’s the best thing ever,” Jinki contradicts. “But enjoy your travels and do bring me a piece of where you’ve been.”  
  
Jonghyun’s first destination is a sky temple. Right at the moment he promises the shepherd boy he’ll bring whatever interesting he comes across, he turns around and he’s right there. The temple could be Japanese, until Jonghyun notices familiar guardian statues seen everywhere in Korean ancient architecture and then greek columns in one of the pavilions. He’s standing on the highest spot one can possibly reach without climbing onto clouds, observing the whole place from the top.  
  
There’s no road visible to where he’s standing and Jonghyun doesn’t remember truly _travelling_ here but he knows it’s what he has decided to do and the dreamscape obeyed. He’s just about to jump down and explore the magical temple, when he feels the dream slipping away. Last thing he remembers is reaching for a statue of an uncertain shape.  
  
  
It’s after his second trip that Jonghyun starts writing a dream diary. _Today, I’ve been somewhere_ , majority of his entries start. Each of his travellings happen the same way; he doesn’t remember actually going through roads or taking buses or whatever transport there was within their dreamscape. He’s just suddenly there, exploring a whole new world. Every time - except for the sky temple - there’s a crowd of people who gather to listen to his music and Taemin dubs him a travelling artist. And every time, he tries to bring something to Jinki, with varying levels of success.  
  
They both agree the first piece of a place he’s been to is the worst choice so far. It’s the next night after his first trip when Jonghyun returns to the meadow and Jinki looks at him expectantly.  
  
“Oh right,” Jonghyun remembers, “I brought you something.”  
  
He pulls the statue from a back pocket of his pants and examines it for the first time. It seems to be a sculpture of a couple, man and a woman in an embrace, both naked. Jonghyun’s mind classifies it as ancient Greece or Rome but it’s not as much its origins as what it displays that makes him feel slightly disconcerted.  
  
“Are you trying to imply something?” Jinki jokes as he grabs the statue from Jonghyun’s hands, which are hesitantly extended somewhere in between keeping it and handing it over.  
  
“I’ve no idea why I took this,” Jonghyun concedes disgruntedly. “I’ll get something better next time.”  
  
Jinki, however, looks pleased with the gift and places it on his rock. “It looks pretty here.”  
  
To Jonghyun, it mostly looks out of place, but he says nothing. He’s glad the whole matter is over, but then Jinki jumps down onto the grass and produces a bouquet of field flowers out of nowhere and kneels before him.  
  
“Since we’ve started this lover thing, here, for you.” He hands the flowers confidently to Jonghyun, who just gives him a stare.  
  
“I’m not aware of starting anything.”  
  
Moments later, the flowers are still there, just like Jinki with his hands outstretched, so in the end Jonghyun sighs and takes them. It’s just a dream, but even dream romances can be nice, he concludes and smiles at the shepherd.  
  
He’s about to thank sincerely when the received flowers fly into the air, seemingly on their own will but he’s quite sure whom to blame for it.  
  
“It’s a _flow_ -er, you see.” His own joke has Jinki cracking up and nearly falling down with laughter, which Jonghyun can’t very much join.  
  
“Do you ever just wonder about some words and their possible meanings?” Jinki queries him when his fit finally reduces to a bright smile and occasional bubbling. “Take flowers, for instance. There’s _flow_ in them. So, what if this is what flowers really did - not grow into the ground, being unable to move but _flow_ in the air.”  
  
Jonghyun questions Jinki’s sanity and he’s not sure if he’s supposed to laugh as well or agree but he just nods and adds: “How about dreamscape then?”  
  
“Dream escape,” Jinki answers after a moment of thinking. “That’s what it is for us, anyway.”  
  
Jonghyun likes that, and suggests they use the word in that meaning, as well as in the original one for they were indeed dream escaping in a dream landscape.  
  
It’s almost like one of those conversations your mind produces on its own when there’s no one else to talk to and Jonghyun starts doubting Jinki’s real again. He’s tempted to finally propose a meeting in the real world, but the dreadful feeling of finding out the truth isn’t what he’d like it to be stops him. Jonghyun would very much like Jinki to be as real as he or Kibum is.  
  
“Do you think we’re truly _escaping here_ , though?” Jinki objects in a question, breaking Jonghyun’s trail of thoughts.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I mean,” Jinki catches one of the flowers that loses its power and is gently falling down. “We both know we’re addicted to this place but would we stay here forever, given the chance?”  
  
Jonghyun watches Jinki’s hand twirle the tiny forget-me-not. It’s a real pretty one, its petals warm blue, almost purple. It has all its colours, and scent too, but it’s not as real as it should be. If you look at it long enough, it would change its colour to red - and that’s not something flowers are supposed to do. Even if the dreamscape feels vivid and all sorts of fantastic, you can always tell. Jonghyun thinks about staying here forever, and that makes him shiver.  
  
“I don’t think I could ever make that choice. If it happened on its own, then perhaps I wouldn’t mind,” he says eventually. “But there’s people out there I’d hate parting with, and who would want to spend their entire lifetime sleeping, anyway?”  
  
“I know of someone,” Jinki says and then the scene fades into a dull, dreamless sleep for Jonghyun before he can question that.  
  
  
That morning, Jonghyun had a tingling sensation that there was something in the dream he ought to remember but couldn’t. Something Jinki said at the very end, and it kept bothering him because he was sure it was something he really wanted to ask about.  
  
As the day progressed however, Jonghyun could barely remember having any dream at all. His first class drove him mad to the point he wasn’t sure how to deal with all those to come that day. One of the kids forgot their homework. It wasn’t as much that small mistake as the student’s attitude and speech that gnawed at all of his raw spots.  
  
Upon being reminded that such thing shouldn’t happen - in a stern but still mild way - the little girl crossed arms over her chest defensively and said: “So what? Doing such homework as memorizing a song is absolutely pointless.”  
  
Rest of the class all looked at him, and Jonghyun considered the approach he should choose. He could argue with her, which would drive him mad and probably drop his dignity in front of everyone present. Or he could brush her off and continue with the class, but that wasn’t him. That was someone subdued to the way kids these days behaved, reluctant to do anything to change that and he didn’t want to be like that.  
  
“Why do you think so?” Jonghyun asked calmly, leaning against his desk.  
  
“Because,” the girl - Hayeong was her name - started in a high-pitched, sarcastic voice, “why would you want to _memorize_ anything when you have pads and computers for that?”  
  
Being fully ready for this kind of answer didn’t mean it was easier for him to control himself. Jonghyun gritted his teeth, waited a few seconds and then answered in the most calm way he could achieve: “Your brain is also a little computer. And as such, it ought to be _used_.”  
  
He didn’t mean to say it with the same sarcasm undertone Hayeong was using, but it must have come out on its own anyway. At first, she looked rightfully crossed, then she retorted: “I’m gonna tell my mom you called me stupid.”  
  
“You can do that,” Jonghyun smirked, rather surprised she was even able to grasp what he was truly implying, “but it would be lying.”  
  
“No it wouldn’t.”  
  
“Yes, it would,” Jonghyun stressed and thankfully they left it at that.  
  
It still bothered him for the rest of the day and he couldn’t wait to fall asleep, talk to Jinki, roam the dreamscape and forget all about stupid kids. Sometimes he questioned his decision to become a teacher. Actually, he did that all the time.  
  
  
_Today, I’ve been somewhere. It was raining and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring the sun back. It was a marvelous baroque-esque city with a large square, just the perfect place to wait for the people to gather and start playing the guitar. But with the rain, all I could do was sit in a nearby pub and play there. The people looked as gloomy as the weather and I soon gave up. I brought Jinki a meal, which he proclaimed the winner among the pieces of where I’ve been. I’ve also told Jinki I wish he were real and I’m still not sure about this, but we’ve arranged on a meeting. I woke up too early, so I can’t tell how happy or stressed he was by that decision, but as for me I’m terrified. I swear that Kibum will never stop teasing me if the jerk doesn’t show up._  
  
For a very long time, this was the last entry in Jonghyun’s dream diary. In the upcoming nights - and days - there was hardly any time for aimless strolling.

 

Kibum decided to tag along when Jonghyun told him he’s meeting the dream boy. Now that they were standing there for painful fifteen minutes, he concluded that telling his best friend was the biggest mistake ever. He was alternately imagining scolding Jinki in a dream - which was rather ridiculous if Jinki really was but a product of his mind, and in reality, which would require a real Jinki that’s just being a jerk and not arriving on time.  
  
But then Jonghyun noticed him. The shepherd boy couldn’t have looked more different than his dream self, but even dressed in business style Jonghyun recognized him easily. Maybe even more so, because the blue and white striped shirt and a black tie made his charisma stand out, giving him a dignified appearance. There was a tall man dressed pretty much the same walking next to him and looking slightly nervous. Jinki himself didn’t appear anxious or uncertain at all, he walked leisurely with his usual calmness and was perhaps telling a joke to his companion because he flashed his teeth in a warm smile.  
  
Kibum noticed Jonghyun staring at the men and asked: “That him?”  
  
Instead of answering, Jonghyun took a first step towards the person he knew but at the same time didn’t. It wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. Jinki noticed him and smiled, but neither of them said anything and just stood there a metre away from each other, awkwardness arising.  
  
“Hey,” Jinki finally greeted him, his eyes fixed on Jonghyun as if he was contemplating how real he is.  
  
“Hi,” Jonghyun said earnestly. “Good to know we’re both really real. I mean, yeah.”  
  
He didn’t have to turn his head to know Kibum probably rolled his eyes. And so Jonghyun wasn’t even one bit surprised when it was his best friend breaking the awkwardness, only to make it even worse.  
  
“So,” Kibum made an entrance, “you two fucked in a dream.”  
  
It was sort of like pouring oil into a fire. It brought all the stares onto Kibum, who just shrugged. But then Jinki laughed out. Sincerely, in that contagious kind of way, so soon they were all laughing together and the fire was extinguished.  
  
“Did you see Taemin yet?” Jonghyun wanted to confirm, even though he was sure he’d have seen him too if the boy was anywhere around. Although they didn’t settle on inviting him because Jonghyun woke up early, he was sure Jinki would invite him to it, too.  
  
Jinki shook his head, smile faltering. “I don’t think he’ll come.”  
  
“You didn’t tell him?”  
  
“No, I... I’ve just always had this feeling he won’t,” Jinki said and then, as if suddenly remembering he was there with him, introduced the man standing there: “This is Choi Minho by the way. He’s a colleague of mine.”  
  
“Oh, this blunt jerk here is Kim Kibum,” Jonghyun pointed out and sensed Kibum throwing daggers at him, so he added: “He’s my bestest friend.”  
  
Kibum snorted. “I’m not so sure about that.”  
  
Jonghyun wasn’t either, what with all the teasing he had to endure throughout the past months. It seemed that Kibum just couldn’t let go of the humorousness of the whole thing and Jonghyun not finding it funny at all and taking it very seriously instead made that even worse. He still liked him, but some things hurt more than others, and Kibum refusing to either take seriously or ignore his dream experiences was one of such things.  
  
There was a coffee shop nearby and they settled on spending their afternoon there. The weather was cloudy and promised rain, but they sat in the garden space of the coffee shop anyway. For the first few minutes it was just Jonghyun and Jinki talking, about their dreamscape mostly. Kibum had that kind of expression plastered on his face, the one Jonghyun called inscrutable where you didn’t know if he’s bored, annoyed or having opinions. Right now, Jonghyun would bet on the having opinions.  
  
Minho looked least comfortable among them, and Jonghyun honestly pitied him. So he decided to drag him into the conversation with a simple: “When did you find out about Jinki having these kind of dreams?”  
  
But to his displeasure, Kibum thwarted his attempts. “Lucid dreams, you mean,” he corrected him, in that matter-of-fact tone he liked to show off when he knew something so much better than you.  
  
“Whatever, I was asking Minho.”  
  
Kibum completely ignored that and said instead: “This is all ridiculous. I honestly tagged along only because I thought you’d never show up.”  
  
By that time, it became quite apparent to Jonghyun that Kibum didn’t approve of the bond he had with Jinki thanks to the dreams they shared. He felt left out, like a kid who doesn’t know this particular game his friends are going at. Maybe he envied them the world they dreamed, too and he most certainly refused to believe such thing was even possible, even with all the evidence served up to him.  
  
“Look,” Jonghyun turned to his friend, feeling slightly annoyed with him. “I don’t know why you’re so moody about all this, but you were the one who wanted to tag along. So if you don’t want to be here, you can just leave.”  
  
It was one of those things you say because you just want it to have the impact but don’t really mean it, however Kibum took it to his heart. He looked at him and for a moment Jonghyun wasn’t sure if he’s not going to get punched in the face. Then he really stood up and stormed off with a simple: “Fine.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jinki said right afterwards.  
  
That apology had Jonghyun feeling utterly horrible, as if he were the one responsible for both Kibum’s stormy behaviour and the scolding, which resulted in a third party feeling guilty.  
  
“I shouldn’t have,” he said defeatedly. “All this time he was making fun of these dreams and I hated him for it but I should’ve seen he was being hurt, too.”  
  
After what seemed like an eternity - or perhaps for the first time altogether - Minho spoke. “I know that feeling.”  
  
When he had all the attention at him, he continued: “I didn’t really feel irritated or left out or anything like that. But it was a weird feeling. Hearing about something you never thought is possible, and battling with yourself to either believe or condemn the person as totally bonkers.”  
  
It brought back the laughter and Minho added: “Well, but now I see I did the right thing believing.”  
  
“Not just believing. You saved my ass, man,” Jinki confessed sincerely and then explained to Jonghyun: “Ever since he found out, he’s been like a guardian angel. When I fell asleep in the office - which happens far more often than I’m willing to admit - he checked on me so that I don’t sleep talk or anything.”  
  
There was palpable contrast to how Minho reacted to the whole meeting than what Kibum had done, and Jonghyun wished this was his best friend instead. But then he remembered how hurt his friend must have felt and how he ought to go back and settle things.  
  
  
On his way back home through endless rain and chilly wind, Jonghyun thought about Jinki’s last words more than anything else.  
  
“See you in a dream,” Jinki said, “and don’t forget there’s nothing to lose.”  
  
When Jonghyun asked him about the meaning, Jinki just shrugged and told him he’ll know. Up till now, Jonghyun believed there’s _everything_ to lose were he to be discovered. Lucid dreaming probably wasn’t classified as a mental disorder but he was quite sure they’d make it into whatever disorder that suits them just to be sure he’s contained in case it got worse. And in any way, he already had a diagnosis - albeit an iffy one - and this could make things worse for all he knew.  
  
And then he thought about it some more and came to an indefinite conclusion that maybe Jinki thought being in a health care centre wasn’t so bad, especially if they would still have their dreams. With this he remembered their conversation from the dream and even the last statement he couldn’t recall before. Jinki said he knew of someone who would spend their lifetime dreaming. Did he mean himself?  
  
Unlocking the flat door with a card, Jonghyun was still conflicted and deep in thoughts, so he didn’t notice Kibum’s shoes missing. It was only when he found the whole flat empty he started worrying. Kibum usually strolled the streets when he was restless, so maybe that’s what he was doing. _I hope he took an umbrella with him_ , Jonghyun thought, feeling utterly guilty and wishing to apologize as soon as possible. He didn’t like open arguments like these.  
  
While waiting, he decided to prepare dinner tonight, as a poor attempt at an apology. When he was done though, Kibum was still not back. Jonghyun called him, but no one picked up.  
  
Two hours passed.  
  
It was late in the night when Jonghyun’s phone rang, waking him from a mild slumber on the sofa. It wasn’t Kibum’s number but when he picked up, he heard his best friend’s voice talking to him in a distressed murmur.  
  
“I can’t talk long, I just gotta tell you I’m fine but I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back. I don’t know _if_ I’ll be able to go back. Jonghyun-ah, they locked me up. I didn’t realize I left my sensor at home and they couldn’t reach me and assumed I’m avoidant or whatever, so they came personally. And then they told me my tests were worse than usual and even though I argued my latest tests were nearly two weeks ago, they-”  
  
Kibum paused, palpably nervous. Jonghyun used the space to quickly check: “Where are you?”  
  
“Seongshin Centre,” Kibum’s voice came back, in even quieter hush and more rushed. “I can’t talk.”  
  
And then he hung up. For the next few minutes, Jonghyun sat there in complete despair. It didn’t make sense. The health care centre workers were horrible, assuming you’re running away when you forgot an appointment or to answer a call, but it wasn’t to the extent they would drag someone away because of it. Even if Kibum’s tests would be messed up, they always gave the person a few days to prepare before they took him to the centres, or so he’d heard. And then, of course, there was the part about Kibum not doing any tests recently at all.  
  
After he somewhat recovered from the initial shock, Jonghyun started counting his very limited options. The first person he thought of calling for help was Jinki. Besides Kibum and his family the dream shepherd was the only person he trusted unconditionally. And calling his family would only mean distressing them when they have enough problems on their own.  
  
“I don’t know what to do,” Jonghyun confessed over the phone and was utterly relieved when Jinki said: “I know a person who can help. Actually, you know him too.”  
  
  
The second time Kibum woke up he didn’t panic. He knew his situation and the fact that Jonghyun knew as well and he was sure to do something about it. This whole thing had to be a terrible kind of mistake and if not, if by any chance this is how the health care centres truly worked, Kibum was getting ready to become a very angry activist. It brought memories back to the time he met Jonghyun, a hyperactive boy who literally crashed into his boutique and told him all about the system and how horrible it was all while shopping for a single outfit and knowing nothing about Kibum except that he’s a part-timer there.  
  
That was years ago and the Kim Jonghyun he lived with now was reduced to a bitter hater of the society who commented news aloud and wrote bashing comments on articles.  
  
Kibum got up from the narrow, solid bed and reached the window in just one step. His room was small and cleaned of anything but the bed, small bedside table and a drawer. It didn’t even occur to him to try opening the door, so he just stood there and looked over the garden. It was a peaceful lot full of grass and trees, a sight not so common in the city and it made him wonder if perhaps it’s any similar to Jonghyun’s dreamscape.  
  
Then the door opened, without any sound of being unlocked first and a tall, scrawny boy hesitantly came in. He looked rather unhealthy, his skin almost translucently pale and Kibum noticed his hand shaking when he stretched it out towards him.  
  
“Hi, I’m Lee Taemin,” was all he said, knowing too well it’s all that was needed.  
  
Kibum’s face lit up and he exclaimed. “You were Jonghyun’s student!”  
  
Taemin smiled and nodded.  
  
He never met the kid during the days Jonghyun taught him, but he’s heard a lot about him and it was rather nice meeting him in person. The genuine delight slowly departed Kibum as he realized exactly where he met this kid and what it meant. “You’ve been here all that time?”  
  
Taemin nodded again, without any visible change in expression and Kibum wondered if the boy wasn’t even one bit unhappy here. Even so, he told him: “I’m so sorry.”  
  
Just in the lines of his thinking, Taemin raised his eyebrows, wondering: “Why would you be sorry? I like it here.”  
  
Either it was they drugged him to the point he didn’t care anymore, or the kid was truly insane. Since he didn’t look one bit drugged, Kibum decided he’s actually one of the few that probably really had a reason to be here.  
  
Taemin invited himself to sit on Kibum’s bed, folding up his long legs beneath him. “I know it probably sounds odd to you, but this place is perfect for me. Out there I wasn’t happy. Here I can sleep all day and night and get lost in my dreams, which are a far better place.”  
  
It wasn’t just _odd_ , it was completely crazy but something in that confession made Kibum wish he were able to enter those dreams, too. Not to escape life like this lost soul here, but just out of curiosity and so that he could finally feel a little less left out.  
  
“Don’t you ever miss your family, friends?”  
  
“No.” The answer came too abruptly, too sternly and in a rather automatic kind of way. As if it was something the boy persuaded himself to believe so strongly that it just came out on its own.  
  
“Okay,” Kibum backed out, feeling he probably shouldn’t dig any further on this topic. “So, Jonghyun mentioned me in the dream?” He hoped this was the help being sent, although he couldn’t see how a kid locked up here for possibly years could help him in any way.  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Well, how did you know who I am? Assuming you did, when you came here.”  
  
“Of course I did know it’s you,” Taemin agreed and giggled, as if that was particularly funny. “Not from back then of course, Jonghyun as a teacher never mentioned you.”  
  
The kid paused, locking his eyes onto something distant invisible to Kibum’s eyes. Kibum decided to break the silence since it made him feel as if he’s really talking to a lunatic. “Figured. So he told you about me now and you went to check if there’s anyone named Kim Kibum in your centre?”  
  
Taemin’s eyes went back to him, perplexed for a while. “Oh no, I did no such thing. I don’t like telling anyone I’m locked up here, so... But there was talk about you, yes. And I also saw you in the dreams before.”  
  
One more mention of anything from the dreams and Kibum would most likely snap and just tell the kid he’s crazy, they’re all crazy and he wants to run away as fast as he can. But he remained silent, waiting to hear more of the far-fetched explanation.  
  
“It wasn’t you, most likely. Just a production of Jonghyun’s subconscious mind. But he called your name and you looked pretty much the same as here now. Except the hair. Oh and the clothes.”  
  
Kibum’s eyebrow twitched. “Well, what _was_ I wearing in the dream?”  
  
“Uh,” Taemin bit his lips so that he suppressed the laughter visibly bubbling inside him. “You kinda didn’t have any. Clothes, I mean.”  
  
“Thought so,” said Kibum but truthfully he most likely expected Jonghyun’s mind to dress him into something overly horrifying and unfashionable. Had it not been Jonghyun, he’d almost think there’s some crush going on but this was perhaps just his way of embarrassing him. He deserved it for all the jesting about the dreams, anyway.  
  
“He never told me about that, though,” Kibum wondered. He had no idea whether Jonghyun knew it’s not really him in the dream and just wanted to spare him (or himself) the embarrassment or if he didn’t and rather waited for Kibum to eventually start talking about it.  
  
“I suppose it’s not easy telling your best friend you saw them naked in your dream,” Taemin remarked, still smiling widely.  
  
“Nah, you wouldn’t understand.” Kibum decided to change the topic once again, not feeling in the mood to explain their relationship to anyone. “How long have you been here anyway? Was this the reason you stopped attending Jonghyun’s classes?”  
  
“Yeah but I never told Jonghyun. And to be honest I’ve lost count of the time,” Taemin confessed. “Three years? Four? No need to keep track of a calendar here, and there.”  
  
Kibum assumed _there_ meant the dreamscape and continued: “And how long have you had those dreams?”  
  
“Maybe a month after I came here,” Taemin shrugged. “At first I wanted to get out, too. But then the dreams started happening and I kind of forgot all my troubles and let myself get lost in them. I meet my family there from time to time, but lately they’ve been coming less often. Jinki, him I see every night, all throughout those years. He’s been there for decades for all I know. Jonghyun is rather new but he’s picking up fast.” He paused and looked at Kibum. “Don’t you think it’s your turn?”  
  
Kibum was considering what chances are that the parents in Taemin’s dreams really were another couple of capable lucid dreamers or if it was just his imagination and the question threw him off. “I don’t know,” he muttered.  
  
Truthfully, he thought it might be the right time. There was nothing else he could do while waiting to be “rescued” and there was a chance he would see Jonghyun in the dreams, too. Being allowed a phone call or any communication seemed nearly impossible for newcomers - and him stealing into the office to call Jonghyun didn’t go unnoticed - so this might as well be his only opportunity to speak to him again.  
  
“Find me before bedtime if you decide,” Taemin said and got up. “Room 718.”  
  
  
That night Jonghyun has trouble falling asleep and he experiences two nightmares before he _wakes_ into his dreamscape.  
  
And when he finally does succeed, he appears somewhere completely else and for the first few seconds wonders if this is yet another strange dream keeping him away from his haven. But then he notices a road leading from the shores of a vast lake he’s overlooking. The road is well-trodden and Jonghyun wonders who ever comes here because through the months he’s spent in the dreamscape he’s never been in this part of it.  
  
Soon enough, the road leaves the sparse forest and leads him onto the meadow, just behind the first village houses. He’s about to walk around and meet up with Jinki who’s surely up above with his sheep, when he sees the carriage.  
  
It’s standing in the middle of the road leading into the village, a spacious wooden thing dragged by four horses and decorated so heavily Jonghyun thinks it a crime. It’s like one of those princess carriages in fairy tales and it looks very out of place, even here in a scenery that might resemble a medieval one.  
  
Jonghyun approaches it and just then a boy dressed in princely clothes full of frills and gold comes from behind. The moment their eyes meet, Jonghyun bursts out laughing and Kibum sneers back at him.  
  
“I know, horrible,” he says, “I’ve no idea why did I pop up like this.”  
  
“I think I do,” Jonghyun responds in between fits of laughter. In a way, it’s so Kibum it brings tears to his eyes and he’s not sure if it’s from the excessive laughing or not.  
  
“I’m glad I made it here though.”  
  
Up till now Jonghyun thought Kibum’s appearance to be his desperate wish to see him but now another idea crosses his mind. “Wait, you’re the real Kibum?”  
  
“Don’t give me this,” Kibum sighs. “I’m not here to question my existence or debate how _real_ you can even be in a dream. I’m here because Taemin is in the same centre as me - that’s how I knew the way to get here anyway - and I want to beg you to get me out of here.”  
  
Jonghyun frowns at that, his worries increasing by yet another unpleasant discovery. Taemin being in a centre certainly explained why he never met up with them, and many other things too, perhaps. Nevertheless he finds it curious how the thing that strikes him the most from the whole talk is the last word - _here_. Even though Kibum came into the dreamscape, it wasn’t because he’d seek it out for what it was. And so, he refers to the place his body is in as _here_ whereas majority of the village population would not do that.  
  
“I will.” Jonghyun felt a need to reassure his best friend more than anything. “ _We_ will - Jinki said that Minho can help. Apparently they got Minho’s brother out once. It won’t be an easy task and you will most likely have to pretend you’re dead for the rest of your life, but we’ll get you out.”  
  
“Pretend I’m dead?” Kibum exclaims, frightened. “Look, it was a mistake they put me in there, there’s gotta be another way, just talk to them or something.”  
  
“We can do that _after_ we get you out, the getting out is important don’t you think?”  
  
That it was better to be out of the centers as fast as possible was undeniable. But to pretend you’re dead, even if for a short while, was not the rescue Kibum was imagining.  
  
“These frills are horrible,” he says sullenly after a while.  
  
Kibum is looking down, possibly considering his options when his eyes lay on the over-decorated outfit he’s in and he looks so pitiful expressing his displeasure, Jonghyun takes his hands into his own. “You can change into something better. Just close your eyes and imagine it.”  
  
“It needs something like...” Just as Kibum says that, he’s already changing, from golden outfit with white frills into a much more casual, but stylish plaid and denim shorts. “This.”  
  
He seems genuinely pleased with his final result and Jonghyun smiles, too. “Much better.”  
  
Meanwhile the whole village gathered around the carriage, two kids climbed onto the coachman seat and one horse was running loose around the meadow. When Jonghyun looks closer, he finds that it’s Taemin setting the horses free and he feels a pang in his heart.  
  
“You said Taemin was in the same centre as you,” he addresses Kibum, while still watching the boy’s lean fingers untangle the reins. “How long has he been there?”  
  
“Long. Three to four years, he doesn’t know himself.”  
  
That means the real reason why Taemin stopped attending the music classes was most likely this, Jonghyun confirms.  
  
Kibum’s eyes follow the kid he knows from the centre running around in between runaway horses and frowns. “Jonghyun, we need to get him out, too.”  
  
Jonghyun finds himself nodding but before he can voice out his feelings, Jinki is standing right besides them. “He won’t let you take him.”  
  
Jonghyun turns to the shepherd. Just before he asks _why_ he realizes another thing and asks instead, in a rather accusing tone: “You knew? You knew he’s a mental patient locked in a centre and didn’t tell me?”  
  
“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” Jinki says and laughs at Taemin who fails to climb onto one of the horse’s back and falls hard into the mud. “Besides, it wouldn’t change anything.”  
  
Jonghyun has to admit both of those things are true, but he still can’t help feeling as if he’s been denied something. It’s been months since his first visit to this dreamscape and even though it was easily changeable, he ought to know its residents at least.  
  
All of the horses were running off far, all but one. The one comes back after Taemin fell off its back and nudges the boy, who’s still lying on the ground. Taemin scrambles to his feet and gives it another try, this time successfully swinging up into the saddle and triumphantly leading the horse around.  
  
“Good job!” Jinki calls out, but too soon.  
  
Few metres of trotting and Taemin is lying on the ground again. They laugh at him but seconds later Jonghyun notices the kid is not getting up and when he inspects closer, he sees a trickle of blood colouring the grass. He screams and wakes up.  
  
  
Jonghyun found himself tangled in wet sheets, his body feverish and shaking. Although he didn’t remember clearly, he knew he went through at least three false awakenings. None of them numbed the shock of what happened to Taemin in the dream. At first he was convinced the boy must be dead for real, only after his ragged breath calmed down did he wonder if it wasn’t just a nightmare.  
  
The hours before he were supposed to meet with Jinki were painful to endure. Jonghyun had to suppress the urge to ask him over the phone but decided it’s better to wait, mostly because if he were to hear him confirm it, he’d much rather have him here by his side.  
  
Shortly past noon, Jinki was at his door and instead of a greeting he got Jonghyun’s thoroughly stressed face. “Please tell me it’s not true.”  
  
“That your best friend is in a health care centre or that he managed to get inside our dreams? Or that Taemin is there with him?” Jinki stepped in, taking his shoes off. “Sorry, all true.”  
  
Jonghyun breathed out slowly, feeling the tension go away. Till the last moment he wasn’t sure if it’s good news he’ll hear. “So it’s not true. I saw Taemin die yesterday before I woke up, you see.”  
  
“Oh god,” Jinki commented and looked him in the eye. He saw the raw anxiety and uneasiness and held him by his shoulders. “It’s okay, nothing like that happened. We’ll get both of them out, or Kibum at least.”  
  
“Why do you insist Taemin won’t leave the centre?”  
  
They walked into the living room and sat on the sofa, close enough so that their knees were touching and Jinki absently crashed them together and distanced, then crashed again. “Because from what I’ve seen over the years, he likes the dreamscape much better than his life out here. I don’t know how his life was before he got into the centres, but I can tell he doesn’t think much of it.”  
  
Jonghyun thought about the cheerful high school student that came every Friday to play the piano under his surveillance. “Back when I used to know him, Taemin wasn’t unhappy. At least, it didn’t look like it. I wonder if I just never really knew him, only his passion for music and skills.”  
  
Then he also recalled Taemin’s expressions throughout all of the encounters in dreams - generally happy, but easily changeable into unexplainable sadness. Whether he was happy in his previous life or not, he did not know. But he was sure the kid wasn’t as happy in the centres as anyone might have thought. Jonghyun himself still wasn’t sure if staying in a dream forever is what he would wish for, but there were more urgent problems to deal with at that moment.  
  
“What does our plan look like?”  
  
Jinki stopped crashing their knees together and looked at him. “Minho’s contacts are still alive, we can use them the same way they did back then. It will cost your friend his casual life unless it turns out to be a mistake of sorts, but I guess it’s better than leaving him to rot there.”  
  
“I agree,” Jonghyun interrupted bitterly.  
  
“Anyway, I can get things working right away if that’s what you want.”  
  
Jonghyun remembered Kibum’s reluctance to this sort of a rescue and objected: “I think we should try to talk to them first. If it really is just a mistake he’s there, getting out shouldn’t be so hard. I hope so, at least.”  
  
“You decide,” Jinki told him.  
  
Jonghyun felt troubled by the responsibility being passed on him. He was worried it would be hard to remedy the mess they might create by falsifying Kibum’s death and thought they won’t lose anything if they try to communicate with the centre first.  
  
Jinki sensed the uneasiness and tried to lighten the mood by kissing him on a cheek, in a childish, almost shy way. Then he laughed out sheepishly and Jonghyun couldn’t help but return the smile, feeling a little tug at his heart. There was something in Jinki that just instantly pulled you to him and didn’t let go. He was like glue, with how you got stuck to him and also with how he held everyone and everything together.  
  
“Remember when I came for the first time and called you an angel?”  
  
“Can’t forget that,” Jinki smiled. “That’s how you got me in the first place.”  
  
“Is it?” Jonghyun would like to hear all about how he managed to charm Jinki but he wanted to voice out his thoughts first. “Anyway, you’re not an angel. You’re a glue.”  
  
“What an upgrade.”  
  
“You stick everything together. I think you’re the one who created the whole dreamscape. And I also think that you don’t just sleep by the meadow whole night, you call out to people who need that place and they come.” Jonghyun glanced at Jinki and saw him open his mouth, so he quickly added: “Don’t deny it, please. I really want to believe that.”  
  
Jinki just kept his wide smile, eyes reduced to slits. “Okay. I’m a glue and right now I want to stick to just one person.”  
  
He let Jinki kiss him on his lips, feeling the butterflies in his stomach and his cheeks flush. Strangely enough, it felt very much like in the dream and it took them both by surprise. They broke the kiss, only to look at each other and laugh.  
  
“It’s the same,” Jonghyun said. He wasn’t sure what was he expecting from the first kiss outside the dreamscape, but he knew it ought to be _different_.  
  
“Whatever it is, it’s nice,” Jinki decided and they kissed again, feeling significantly more elevated than minutes ago.  
  
  
In the end Jonghyun did opt for contacting the centre first and it turned out to be for the better. There was a mistake, one that - according to the workers - doesn’t happen often but when it does it gets rather messy. Thankfully upon being reminded, the centre seemed to work towards solving it fast. That still didn’t soothe Jonghyun’s anger over the whole thing, especially if he imagined some poor soul who’d get in the same way and had no one to help him out.  
  
“They mixed my test results with someone else’s, can you believe that?” Kibum was raging as well, quite reasonably, and restlessly paced in the narrow waiting room. “Fuckers.”  
  
The most outrageous thing was that no one bothered to re-test Kibum during his (albeit short) stay in the centre. Or even check him in any way, when it comes to it. All they did was lock him up here, give him medicaments every day and let him cope with it on his own. Were it not for his dream escape, Jonghyun would be ready to start writing angry comments and petitions again but right now, he couldn’t care less. Kibum was safely out, and hopefully there wasn’t a chance such a thing would happen twice to them.  
  
“And why the fuck are they taking so long?”  
  
They let Kibum into the waiting room at least fifteen minutes ago, telling them they’d bring his belongings and all the paperwork. Jonghyun was almost on the verge of joining Kibum in his nervous pacing, but he tried to calm him down instead by saying: “Screw them, come sit here.”  
  
He put a hand around Kibum’s shoulders when his friend reluctantly obeyed and sat down next to Jonghyun. They stayed like that for a while, without any words just appreciating the presence of one another.  
  
When Kibum somewhat calmed down, Jonghyun asked carefully: “Can Taemin have visitors?”  
  
“I think so,” Kibum voiced out hesitantly. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea to see him.”  
  
“Why not?” Jonghyun wasn’t sure he’s the right person to persuade Taemin to leave the health care centres, but he’d like to give it a try. It did feel weird to be getting Kibum out but leaving the kid here, even if it’s, according to Jinki, something he wanted. “You wanted to get him out, too, didn’t you?”  
  
“I did but now I don’t know. Jinki said he won’t come anyway,” Kibum explained, but he knew it wasn’t much of an argument for the Jonghyun that decided on something and won’t budge.  
  
To Kibum’s expectations and displeasure, Jonghyun left him there and went on to give it a try. The centre didn’t look exactly gloomy, not with the almost blindingly white walls and huge windows that let in a lot of daylight. But there was something in the atmosphere, heavy and suffocating.  
  
“Who was it you wanted to see, again?” the nurse asked as they entered a dully coloured office.  
  
“Lee Taemin,” Jonghyun repeated and watched the nurse’s expression change into a frown as she looked into the computer. He had a sudden surge of premonition, or rather remembrance of his nightmare and he immediately wished to plug his ears and not hear what the lady was about to say.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said and Jonghyun braced for the worst, “but you can’t visit him here anymore.”  
  
Jonghyun frowned right back at her. “Why?”  
  
“Since yesterday Lee Taemin is in a coma. He’s been transferred to a hospital since we don’t have the necessary equipment here.”  
  
  
“Maybe he went off to another dreamscape,” Jinki suggested, trying to smile.  
  
They were both standing in Taemin’s hospital room, Jonghyun on the right side of the bed and Jinki on the other one. They brought him fresh flowers and then spent their usual few minutes of awkwardly staring on the sleeping pale boy on the bed. His family was there more often than not and he had plenty of care, but they still felt like they should come, too.  
  
“I hope he’s at a better place,” Jonghyun said to that and he didn’t really want it to sound as if Taemin was dead, but that’s how it suddenly felt.  
  
Jonghyun didn’t know what he expected. Perhaps finding Taemin in the dreamscape, smiling at them cheerfully and explaining how he finally found a way to be in a dream all the time and that it’s the best thing ever. Or maybe even finding him there looking sick and depressed. But he simply wasn’t there at all.  
  
Him and Jinki set off onto a search through the whole world, or at least the parts they visited so far. They asked around as well, but none of the villagers saw him ever since that night when Kibum came. It took them weeks to accept the conclusion they won’t find him no matter what. And still, Jonghyun kept the habit of waking into the dream through the woods and going all around them first.  
  
However after they somewhat ceased their thorough search, they weren’t coming to their own world as often as before. Jonghyun would like to say it was because they lived in one flat now and didn’t need to meet in their dreams anymore, but it was more likely the other way around. They _needed_ the dream escape, but as it sometimes is with things you need, you often simply don’t get them no matter how hard you wish for them.  
  
“Maybe he was right, after all,” Jonghyun said after they left the room and weaved their way out of the hospital. “With his choice to stay in the centres and live in his dreams.”  
  
It wasn’t the first time Jonghyun considered this, but this time he said it out loud, giving it much more weight than ever before. Jinki was the first one to ever hint on it, but now he objected: “But look at the state of him now. Would you want to end up like that?”  
  
“No,” Jonghyun admitted. “But I don’t want to go on with the same frustration every day, either. I just want a world where people care about each other and where there’s the freedom and creativity we see in the dreams.”  
  
“We could run away somewhere.”  
  
“It’s the same everywhere,” Jonghyun opposed.  
  
“I’ve heard of refugee camps in the uninhabited zones. People living outside of law, either because they ran away from responsibilities or punishments.”  
  
Jonghyun laughed out. “So you’re suggesting we go live with cranks and convicts?”  
  
Jinki smiled mischievously back. “Doesn’t it sound tempting?”  
  
“Yeah, very. Or we can get ourselves locked in a centre, I bet getting in isn’t half as hard as getting out.”  
  
“We have some amazing choices,” Jinki joked and they both walked out with smiles hiding the bitterness deep inside.  


 

...

  
  
The meadow is still the same. Dandelions are losing its blossom and the white seeds are spread all over the grass. Jonghyun glances up and sees the familiar rock and Jinki stretched wide on it, sleeping soundly. The only changes to their dreamscape are the borders. The forests are gone, as if chopped down, except that there are no stumps anywhere. As far as he can see, there are fields with roads in between them.  
  
The woods were Taemin’s addition, Jonghyun realizes and he feels a heavy weight crushing his chest. Jinki might be the architect of this whole place, but each person that came ever since added a little of themselves in. Jonghyun’s were the far-away travel spots, that now looked to be neatly connected by roads.  
  
Even so, the world feels more hollow and less sparse than ever. Jonghyun wonders when will it stop feeling as if there’s a huge part of it missing, and then he realizes it most likely never would. It wasn’t a question of how little he really _knew_ Taemin, without him it wasn’t the dreamscape they felt familiar with. All this time, they kept imagining the kid will come running out of the woods at any time. Now they know he won’t.  
  
Suddenly he misses Kibum here, too. After that one night visit when his best friend was being guided by Taemin, he never came again. Out of all the things, this feels like the biggest regret and sometimes makes him question their choice.  
  
But then Jonghyun lies down next to Jinki, nestling his head on the shepherd’s shoulder and everything feels right. It’s just the two of them, kings in a world of their own.  
  
“I’ve been thinking,” Jinki says, woken up by Jonghyun snuggling close to him, “that maybe we could move somewhere else.”  
  
Creating a whole new dreamscape from scratch sounds like an awful lot of work but the prospect of the outcome has Jonghyun thrilled inside. “I’d like that. We could make a more northern country, I’ve always wondered how does the snow really look like.”  
  
“Sounds great. Not now though. I wanna stay like this a bit longer.”  
  
Jonghyun hums in agreement.  
  
Their dream fades at that, waking them into a far less fancy world and leaves them expecting the next sleep. Dreamscaping is their disease and cure at the same time.  


**Author's Note:**

> There were two things that inspired me. Three, to be fair. First was a scene I saw in a tram - there was a mentally ill or drunk (or perphaps both) person who kept talking to himself throughout the whole journey. I didn't watch him, I watched the people around and saw how everyone was looking at him suspiciously, with disdain and that brought the idea what if there was a world where mental illnesses are considered extremely dangerous - that perhaps people believe they lead to crime and violence. 
> 
> Second was the book from which I used a quote in the intro - Dreams Underfoot by Charles de Lint. Do read it, it's a wonderful box of incredible stories and this one particularly made me investigate into lucid dreams and eventually connect them to this fic.
> 
> And finally, although it did not directly inspire me in the beginning, I have to name Inception. It's my favourite movie and while creating this, I thought about it a lot :3


End file.
